Sex Goddess Of The Western Hemisphere — Maggie Estep (and the me who loves her)

Sex Goddess by Maggie Estep
I am THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE
so don’t mess with me
I’ve got a big bag full of SEX TOYS
and you can’t have any
’cause they’re all mine
’cause I’m
the SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.

“Hey,” you may say to yourself,
“who the hell’s she tryin’ to kid,
she’s no sex goddess,”
But trust me,
I am
if only for the fact that I have
the unabashed gall
to call
myself a SEX GODDESS,
I mean, after all,
it’s what so many of us have at some point thought,
we’ve all had someone
who worshipped our filthy socks
and barked like a dog when we were near
giving us cause
to pause and think: You know, I may not look like much
but deep inside, I am a SEX GODDESS.

Only
we’d never come out and admit it publicly
well, you wouldn’t admit it publicly
but I will
because I am
THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE.

I haven’t always been
a SEX GODDESS
I used to be just a mere mortal woman
but I grew tired of sexuality being repressed
then manifest
in late night 900 number ads
where 3 bodacious bimbettes
heave cleavage into the camera’s winking lens and sigh:

“Big Girls oooh, Bad Girls oooh, Blonde Girls oooh,
you know what to do, call 1-900-UNMITIGATED BIMBO ooooh.”

Yeah
I got fed up with the oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
I got fed up with it all
so I put on my combat boots
and hit the road with my bag full of SEX TOYS
that were a vital part of my SEX GODDESS image
even though I would never actually use
my SEX TOYS
’cause my being a SEX GODDESS
it isn’t a SEXUAL thing
it’s a POLITICAL thing
I don’t actually have SEX, no
I’m too busy taking care of
important SEX GODDESS BUSINESS,
yeah,
I gotta go on The Charlie Rose Show
and MTV and become a parody
of myself and make
buckets full of money off my own inane brand
of self-righteous POP PSYCHOLOGY
because my pain is different
because I am a SEX GODDESS
and when I talk,
people listen
why ?
Because, you guessed it,
I AM THE SEX GODDESS OF THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE
and you’re not.

,

About Kristen Chapman Gibbons

Loosely connected facts: Curator of a Better Internet. Lifelong Politico. Social Media Maven. Creativity Evangelist. Performer. Storyteller. Decade teaching in Higher Ed. Master's Degree in Theology. Married to an Irishman. 3 darling kiddos. Preacher's kid. Creator of Content Worth Sharing. Digital Strategist. Appalachian. Music maker. Music devour-er. ENTP. Bohemian. Geeky. Obsessed with thrift stores and all things vintage. Lover of species.

View all posts by Kristen Chapman Gibbons

Come Along

Subscribe to our RSS feed and social profiles to receive updates.

One Comment on “Sex Goddess Of The Western Hemisphere — Maggie Estep (and the me who loves her)”

  1. james gaffney Says:

    personally, i think the use of the word hemisphere is precisely the problem with humanity. how can we have 4 hemispheres? by definition, we’d have to have 4 halves, or 2 wholes. East/west/north/south.

    it’s confusing, and i think it’s a conspiracy. i refuse to obey the rules imposed by those that would have me believe that such a configuration is possible.

    bihemispherians – unite!

    Like

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

WWD

Women's Wear Daily brings you breaking news about the fashion industry, designers, celebrity trend setters, and extensive coverage of fashion week.

Spatial Orientation

radical free thinking space cadets

Every Story Matters

UPROXX

The Culture Of What's Buzzing

Neat Nashville

Create | Embrace | Inspire

REDDALLOVER

Fair complexioned.

Womonwrites's Blog

Our own little online campsite

The Boeskool

Jesus, Politics, and Bathroom Humor...

Dwonna Know What I Think?

Advice from the "Black Dear Abby"

LOCATE Arts

The hub for contemporary art in TN

In this Moment: Reading the 1850 Prelude

"Dare to live without a plan." -Julia Kristeva

Fusion

Championing a young, diverse, and inclusive America with a unique mix of smart and irreverent original reporting, lifestyle, and comedic content.

Freedom Fries and Firearms

Bloggin bout 'Merika, Bloggin bout guns, Bloggin bout Freedom for guns in 'Merika

TwistedSifter

The Best of the visual Web, sifted, sorted and summarized

Lockeland Springsteen, a Nashville Music Blog

musings on music from nashville, tn

The Pulmyears Music Blog

Musings on music from the desk of Paul Myers.

Appalachian Ink

Home of Anna Wess, Writer & Ghost Chaser

The Tennessee Writing Workshop

Get Your Writing Published: Feb. 7, 2015

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 11,520 other followers

%d bloggers like this: